


when falling in love is not enough

by writtenmoo



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Angst, F/F, Falling Out of Love, im sorry wheein sweetie, wheein is heartbroken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:42:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22988086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writtenmoo/pseuds/writtenmoo
Summary: a relationship is bound to fail when one party stops trying, and unfortunately for wheein, she had to learn this the hard way."are you not happy with me?"wheein could not stand the suffocating feeling anymore, it was eating her up from the inside, she found herself unable to sleep, eat, function, anymore, and she was so, so tired. so there they were, sitting at the dining table during dinner, miserable small talk taking place before wheein took a deep breath, fists clenched on the table, her nails digging into her palms, and started a conversation she did not dare know the flow of.
Kudos: 6





	when falling in love is not enough

**Author's Note:**

> i'm very new to ao3 and this is my first time posting here (not my first time posting in general [aff]) i don't really know how this works but i'll learn eventually! i hope you enjoy!

it’s scary to see love slowly trickle out of someone whom you still feel just as intensely for as before, you don’t really notice it at the start, and usually, by the time you do, it’s too late.

wheein didn’t know when it started, but dread has come to fill her whenever she had to meet her girlfriend. she didn’t know how it started, but she had come to pay close attention to how her girlfriend texts her, and how void of emotion they were.

wheein couldn’t bear to think that she no longer held the ability to put a smile on her loved one’s face, or see that her hugs and kisses no longer made the girl feel the same butterflies from before anymore. she felt trapped and suffocated, constantly wondering where everything went wrong, where she started not being enough, and if there was anything she could do to change it.

there were nights she sobbed to herself, asking for anyone above to fix her relationship, or her, if she was the problem, being too afraid to confront the elephant in the room in case that her worst fears were confirmed by the person she loved most, the person who had her entire heart. nights where she laid in bed, a loud voice screaming repeatedly that she wasn’t enough, that she never was, and that it was only a matter of time before everything would crumble, and time was up.

it was in the tiniest of actions that led wheein to this conclusion, how her girlfriend would flinch when wheein tried to hold her hand, before relaxing and grasping back onto her hand, pretending as if nothing had happened, or how wheein no longer saw her initiating any physical contact, or simply putting in any effort, anymore. the time it took for wheein to get a reply increased, more and more, and wheein grew more and more desperate.

she didn’t like doubting her girlfriend, didn’t want to question the amount of emotions that were behind every ‘i love you’ and ‘i miss you’, but it was hard when her brain was telling her that the perfect relationship she thought they held was disintegrating right before her eyes, and how her confidence in herself was just dipping with every passing day. wheein felt selfish for wanting the girl to spend more time with her, for wanting the same amount of effort back from what she was putting in, for wanting the girl to just try and salvage their relationship before it was too late... but maybe, it already was.

wheein never said any of these things aloud, much less to her girlfriend, because she was afraid it would push her away, and she didn’t dare to be overly clingy out of fear that it wouldn’t be well-received. she felt like she could have been the only one seeing or feeling that this relationship was going downhill, and fear kept her from voicing it out.

something inside the girl was in a constant state of panic, day in day out, and she didn’t know how to stop it, but she knew that she was getting tired. tired of herself constantly being in doubt. she wished that she never existed sometimes, not so to end her misery, but so that she would stop being a burden to others.

she felt stupid too, for thinking about a possible future, for letting her hopes up when wheein knew deep down, that good things never lasted, at least not for her, and that was a fact that she had accepted a long time ago. this time though, she wanted to let herself be selfish, she let herself think ahead, but here she is, letting herself down once again.

~.~

“are you happy with me?” 

it used to be a foreign feeling, the feeling of not knowing what to say, empty conversations, meaningless words, that became all too familiar, all too quickly. conversations flowed like water for them from the very first meeting, 2 years ago, back in that little run-down café wheein worked at temporarily, in a short-lived attempt to earn her own ticket to her favourite singer’s concert. they hit it off from the beginning, talking about anything and everything under the sun, but now everything’s changed, and wheein is drowning in its effect. 

“w-what? of course! wheein-ah, where’s this coming from?” the girl across from her replied incredulously, but also, almost defensively? Almost as though her conscience was being stabbed by a needle. There was a smile on her face, but wheein knew the girl, it was fake and forced, meant as a pathetic attempt to convince wheein that all was fine.

wheein sighed, fingers turning white from the sheer amount of pressure she pressed them into her palm, resisting tears from gathering in her eyes. she was not going to cry. she wasn’t. she can’t. she slammed her fist onto the table, forced and deliberate, not thundering loud, but heavy, nonetheless. frustrated.

“don’t lie to me babe. i know you better than that. look at you, you’re biting on your lips again, you’re fiddling with your hair, your eyes are so shifty, they haven’t looked at me from the moment you stepped into the house, and don’t think i didn’t notice that deep breath you took before you came into the kitchen. you aren’t happy with me, you’ve been so miserable, and I hate seeing you force everything. so, tell me, what changed?”

silence hung thick in the air. no words were exchanged. wheein closed her eyes, clenched them shut, took another deep breath, before she continued.

“sometimes, i… i end up thinking, about a lot of things, and there was once where my brain told me, “so, what if, just what if, you’re just a “familiarity” in her life and that’s the only reason why she’s not letting you go. she doesn’t really like you anymore it’s just that you’ve become a constant in a time where everything’s changing, so she’s holding onto you” and that made my blood run cold,” wheein gulped, tears threatening to leak out at any moment, but she would not let them. not in front of her. 

“i’m done, babe. i’ve been living in fear and uncertainty, and i don’t know how much more of this i can take before i explode, or drown, i just need you to say something, anything, lest i go crazy right here and now.” 

the girl that sat in front of her now, head dropped and shoulders slumped, was unrecognisable. The girl she thought who loved her was now sitting in silence, fidgeting with her finger, probably unable to find words to explain herself. 

“Sunbin-ah! please! for gods’ sake!” wheein was now yelling, standing up abruptly and hitting the table in the process, causing the plates and cutlery to clatter against each other, making the girl flinch, before she shut her mouth, slightly shocked at herself for being this aggressive. between gritted teeth, she continued, “talk to me, say something, anything, you can’t hurt me any more than you’ve already done in the past 6 months so, for the love of god, just break me. wreck me, and leave my heart in pieces, break it so well that it might never be whole again. it’s the most merciful thing you can do to me now.” 

tension was at the highest it has ever been in the past 5 years of the relationship and wheein never thought she would be the cause of her lover’s tears, but the situation has changed, and cracks were forming in wheein’s heart at the sight of tears endlessly streaming down her face, the very face that she promised to only be filled with smiles and nothing else. even the crying was silent, wheein only knew she was crying by how her shoulders moved, and how the girl refused to look at her. the next few minutes was spent in silence, with wheein just standing there, looking helplessly at the slightly older girl, her heart crumbling slowly. 

“i don’t know what you’re expecting from me anymore… but it seems like i can’t get an answer from you, at least not today, so… i’ll make things easier for you okay?” wheein said in a quiet tone, energy all gone, and she was just… exhausted. she stepped away from the table, ignoring her ex(?)-lover’s panicked gaze. walking over to the doorway of their shared bedroom, she picked up a duffle bag she had packed prior to the other girl coming home, only to hear an audible gasp. 

“wh-wheein? what’s this… what are you doing?” 

wheein chose to keep quiet, all the way until she reached the door of the apartment, where she turned around one last time, and with a tired smile on her lips said, “i’m making this easier for you, but just remember, i only ever wanted to make you happy,” before she walked out of the life she had grown accustomed to, and familiar with, leaving the love of her life sobbing on the apartment floor.

**Author's Note:**

> also, if you want to check out my twt for writing, you can do so!


End file.
